Our Letter

To begin this blog let Joni and I explain the whirlwind of events that led us to where we are today. To clearly communicate it I need to step back a few steps and share what has happened to us over the past year and a half.

It was 18 months ago that Joni and I began planning and trying to extend our family with a new child. In our minds we thought it would be like it was the first time around (the first try). However months passed, and passed and still to no avail we found ourselves wondering "why was this so fast the first time". In December (after 16 months) we decided to begin testing to see what could be reasons for the inability to get pregnant. We received some unfortunate results, and while this may seem like whack in the face to some, for Joni and I it actually offered a lot of answers and resolve to our questions.

It was during this time of testing and seeking answers that I had lunch, by divine intervention, with a co-worker. I was able to share with Doug what was going on, how much it was hurting my wife and how I was beginning to have this feeling like maybe we should be looking into adoption. I was feeling uncomfortable with the thought of spending a "lot" of money on fertility methods. Doug was quick to share that he could empathize with our feelings and was able to share that his two kids were adopted. Of course this led into some fantastic discussion, and from that moment Doug has become a huge mentor in this situation and I go to him anytime I am mulling over things in my head.

That night I went home and shared with Joni what had happened. I was met with tears of joy as she said she had been having the same feelings for a few months. This was a pivotal moment for us, January we began "investigating" adoption. I kept telling Joni, knowledge is key, the more we learn the better this will be. And certainly by no explanation other then God's timing, doors began opening that were by no other explanation "miraculous".

Door 1: I found out another co-worker had adopted his two children I was able to spend some time learning from him about his situations.

Door 2: A few days after that I found out one of my coworkers was adopted and I got to hear from him about it.

Door 3: Joni and I went to an adoption meeting at an agency, we left feeling unified and at peace about pursuing this.

Door 4: Entertainment, yes entertainment. Everything we rented from movies to Television seemed to deal with adoption. Juno, Meet the Robinsons, Extreme Home Make-Over. Joni and I would look at each other and laugh. We were feeling like God was smacking us over the head with signs.

Door 5: Joni was motivated by a message at church to begin taking next steps. Due to financial restrictions our original thought was fostering to adopt. So next steps for Joni was to talk with a co-worker who foster parents.

Door 6: (this would prove to be a very pivotal door) Joni had a chance to connect with that co-worker that foster parents, this was a great chance for us to learn more about foster parenting.

Door 7: Feb. 17 when all other churches in Des Moines were cancelled because of a severe winter weather storm, Joni's co-worker's church still managed to meet. Joni's co-worker was addressed by a friend of hers who knowing she foster parents was asked "Do you know anyone who is looking to adopt? I have a niece who is looking to adopt out her child". Her response, thinking of us was "yes". She gathered information and later that day called us and shared with us this info.

Door 8: We called the birth mom that night. Most people would never have direct contact since she was working with an agency. But since we were only given her number we had that chance. It was maybe only a five minute conversation, but it was an amazing five minutes. We scrambled to tell her about us, about our situation. She seemed excited, nervous, and told us the name and number of her case worker. We hung up with this young girl and looked at each other and felt at peace. We knew we were following God's will. We then contacted the case worker and left a message.

Door 9: After talking with the birth mom that night, Joni found conformation in reading this scripture: Isaiah 43:4-7: Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you,I will give men in exchange for you,and people in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, 'Give them up!' and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.' Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth- everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.

Door 10: Monday we got a call back from the case worker, she said that the birth mom and grandmother had already called her to ask if we had called. They were excited and felt they had found the "adoptive parents".

Door 11: After pursuing calls with the case-worker. The birthmother said that if we want it, they will stop pursuing anything else, they feel we are the right fit and feel wonderful about choosing us.

Door 12: Here's the kicker on this... The baby is due April 26th!! What does this mean? Paperwork for adoptions is plentiful. One of those things is getting a home study. This is something that usually takes 3-4 months. We contacted the state adoption center, they said they couldn't do it in the small time frame. We contacted a private agency and they said if we get moving they could wrap it up in 4-5 weeks! "Miracle"!

Door 13: The father relinquished parental rights. The case worker said the father and his father confirmed feeling the child would be better off going to older more experienced people and really couldn't be any better situation. This is a very hard step to get, and it's done.

Door 14: Joni and I spent an evening to discuss. We both felt more at peace about doing this than anything else in our life. Our main distraction – the cost, was of no question. We felt like at this point there was no way we could say "no". We felt we would be blatantly disobeying God. Again I went to my mentor Doug about this. His words rung strong. "Derek, it's thousands of dollars. Ask for gifts from family and friends. This (coming from his experience with adoption) is nothing short of miracle in how fast and smooth this is moving. How much would you pay for Miya?" to that I responded "There isn't enough money".

Door 15: We formally accepted to adopt this child. We have begun the paper work. We have scheduled physicals and meetings with agencies. And we have begun emailing the birth mother and the rest of her family. Amazing conversations have already begun. I can't imagine how hard this is going to be for them and whatever we can do to comfort there decision we are doing.

So with all that said... we will be adopting what we know is a baby boy due to be born on April 26th. We are extremely excited! We had the opportunity to share this news with our immediate families this weekend and it was a huge blessing. Our families wrapped their arms of love and support around us. And we feel more than ever we are truly following God's will for our lives. Miracles do happen and this is one of them.

Please, please, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. For the birth mother, their family, and the baby. They are making an amazing sacrifice that I can hardly begin to empathize with. And of course for us! This is a big change that we are quickly getting ready for.

But we have no doubts that this will work out. We are excited! Miya is uber-excited! And are spare bedroom is being turned in to a nursery in record time.